Sunday, September 24, 2006

Profiles in Cheese: Showdown

1993, starring Billy Blanks

Yes, that's the Billy Blanks of Tae-bo fame. Combine that with an unapologetic Karate-Kid rip-off plotline, cliche characters and laughably bad dialogue, and you have acheived a perfect storm of cheesiness.
The movie starts with a (seriously) 5-minute long segment of bad music-driven titles and doesn't let up from there. This movie contains:
  • Cop's fall from grace over guilt from an accidental self-defense killing
  • New kid at California High School has trouble "Learning the Ropes"
  • New kid falls for nice, pretty girl
  • Girl has a controlling ass of a boyfriend
  • He just happens to be a Karate warrior, too - a baaad one
  • New Kid totally gets is ass kicked
  • Cop, now the High School janitor, trains new kid in Karate
  • An unexpected friendship blossoms
  • After only 2 weeks of training, new kid can beat the asshole boyfriend who has had years of intense training
  • Nice girl gets with new kid. How nice can she be if she goes for the biggest asskicker?
Cheese Level: Havarti

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