Friday, May 26, 2006


I hate when I go to a fast food place & try to place an order, but I have to deal with a zombie cashier with absolutely no capacity for critical thought:

"I'd like an order of fries with a small drink, please"

"I'm sorry, but we only have medium, large and extra large drinks, sir..."

At this point, after I silently count to 10, I wonder if I have to break out a chalkboard to explain to this asshole that just becuase mcMarketing decided to shake things up by changing the names of the sizes to appeal to the hip extreme crowd, or whoever's ass the media is kissing this week, the smallest of the available sizes is still the friggin' small. I know they have to follow the hip new mcLingo or else they'll have to be bonded into wage slavery with some other soulless corporation, seriously straining their weekly weed budget, but for god's sake: THINK!

I also hate it when I go somewhere to get beer (would you believe that dealing with society drives me to drink? go figure...) & the only ID available is my US Passport. This just makes the cashier nine kinds of flustered:

"I'm sorry, but we only accept driver's licenses and military I.D.'s"

"No, you accept this, too. This will get me into any country in the world. This can get me inside an American Embassy anywhere in the world. This is acceptable I.D. to get a job anywhere in the country, and is pretty hard to fake. It sure as shit can get me a 6-pack."

"Maybe I should get a manager..."

Maybe I Should Get A Manager... That is mcZombie for "Does not compute". You have deviated from the script. This was not covered in the manual. Now a manager must be summoned, because none of the peasants are allowed the luxury of free thought.

Speaking of buying beer, in the south you can not buy beer on sundays! It's happened to me before. I tried to tell them that it was okay to sell it to me since I wasn't a christian, but that didn't fly.

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